The first week in May, 2014, I was basically alone in the house, doing basic maintenance – with 3 dogs and 8 cats. My goal was to somehow kickstart a change in life/work style. Organizing/cleaning my workspace, initially intended, has been delayed, as has re-organizing my online presence. Both organizing projects remain needed. I have made some headway developing a new process for selecting/scheduling tasks – which dominated most of my attention early on. I wandered around intentions to initiate serious dialog with select persons, but no clear focus emerged. I was no longer wasting time, but still accomplishing little. It appears I was still in my silo.
On May 6, frustrated with the widening gap between my hopes and my achievements I relaxed all intentions and entered a state of just doing what the moment suggested. After a while engaging my surroundings with greater attention and an hour of “meditation”, I had a cascade of insights critically instructive as to changes in my strategy re UPLIFT and my interaction with colleagues on significant issues. I was made aware of blindspots and limiting assumptions, characteristic of my silo.
INITIAL CHANGES IN BEHAVIOR PROPOSED:
(a) I am temporarily abandoning all effort to share my insights re UPLIFT and Societal Metamorphosis with others and will cease attempting to get useful feedback or participation on these major conceptual schemes. I will continue online dialog with others on matters of mutual interest.
(b) I will begin “composing a book”, describing in some detail what I imagine for the initial stages of UPLIFT; and starting with what I will be doing to catalyze the implementation of BUS. The “book” will take on many forms. I will post selected parts, but will not make the “book” available to others until it is ready. In a sense, the “book” will be a personal BUS to engage others in organizing/learning processes.
(b1) Later I will set up an automatic posting to the cloud (e.g., to websites) of work-in-progress. This may contain a means for comment and dialog, but moderated. I will not seek readers, but will make available my work for those interested.
(c) I will begin designing my working tools & techology for my own composing/production. All future sems must be organized within a continuous whole, with reesee access by myself for myself. I will temporarily abandon designing features for others to interact with it – that will come later.
(d) I will begin creating social spaces where I interact with others on relevant concerns, but without any expectation to broaden the dialog beyond specific issues. I need more person to person contact. Linear dialog and conversation are inadequate processes for sharing topics of great magnitude/scope/complexity. Continuing attempts at the impossible must cease. The collaborative design of useful formats requires a context that my “book” may provide.
(e) As projects are formulated in the “book” I will attempt to implement some of them. However I must take care not be captured by projects This has been my practice and is one of the reasons I have avoided concrete projects involving others.
INITIAL CHANGES IN ATTITUDE PROPOSED:
(a) My disabilities (no mental imagery or sensory remembrances, conative dysfunction) remain very relevant. But, I have used my disabilities too much as an excuse for not identifying-and-doing things I can do. I still accept there are many tasks I can’t perform [I AM disabled], even though others expect them of me. But there are tasks I can and must perform to gain the seafing and teams most of nuet’s projects require. Yet, in this self analysis I identify a greater extent of my disabilities, that I had refused to accept.
(b) I have refined my views on my relationships with other persons and teams. There are things I can/must do alone, without teams. One, being the creation of seafing teams for myself. I must accept for myself my own assessment about the impossibility of many things and stop still trying them or hoping for them to happen. This self analysis continues and I expect other blocks to be revealed.
(c) I discovered my bias against “business” blocked me from creating social systems in the Here&Now. In my frustrating efforts to share the viability of metamorphic emergence over societal transformation, I emotionally resisted creating concrete organizations/projects in the context of contemporary reality, even though I wouldn’t view them as components of UPLIFT or contributions to reform of established systems and ways. I have been sidetracked attempting to integrate my social life with my missions and avoided even considering activities I had previously envisioned doing.
(d) I recognize that on my death my current work would be lost to humankind, given the poor organization state of my semfield (archives). At the recommendation of others, I must organize my semfield and not depend on an archeological expedition into the flashdrive containing my digital trace. However, the enterprise is not to order existing sems but to embed the order in the “book” and link to sems in my semfield.
(e) I fully accept my status of a Minority-of-One. Given the stakes I must begin to act more assertively in the context that nuet has something very valuable to humankind at this juncture. I have been passive-aggressive in promoting nuet’s insights, partly as a result of Larry’s personality. I speak my mind but am very timid in asking for engagement. However, I will no longer expect others to engage by reading a sem or two.